Sunday, December 8, 2013

Education

I've often wondered, if I have a child some day, how do I bring him/her up to speed with this crazy world?

"Math is supposed to be fun, it's supposed to be a tool to guide your imagination. Your teacher has most likely made it boring and removed its soul by sticking to a fixed syllabus."

"The popular image that Asians are smarter because Asians score higher in schools is misleading. A person who willingly constrains him/herself by something he/she doesn't control is really a fool - no matter what kind of degree he/she has."

"The real evil of politics happens when people make you hate someone - it doesn't matter which side the hate comes from - liberals, libertarians, capitalists, communists, greens, technocrats, conservatives, fascists, religious, etc. If you're hating someone, it means you don't want to listen to their side of the story - you're really just fucking lazy."

"Modern money are man-made numbers. There may be many laws regulating them, but they're really arbitrary quantities."

"A comfy and stable job... doesn't really exist any more."

"If everyone is trying to do the same thing.. it's most often the wrong thing to do."

Of course I wouldn't be telling the above things to a young person - but the problem here is... if you cared to think a little, all the things that a young person sees and hears as "correct" these days - from teachers, from mass media, from politicians, etc. are often very rotten. The concepts taught in math books are not wrong, but the way it's treated is really bad. I fear for the day when modern educators get their bloody hands on Computer Science and make it mandatory in junior schools.

It took me quite a long time to realize the popular concepts thrown around me are most often not quite wrong - but highly misleading. The reason for that to have happened to me though... was because my family was poor, my parents are not very smart, and I had to figure things out for myself since I was small. It was a survival instinct, or else I'd be stuck in absolute poverty. But if I have a child, he/she would most probably have parents with above average means and intelligence. He'd have what most psychologists regard as a healthy family, a healthy childhood, a healthy emotional development, and whatnot.

But you know what? That sounds like to me the perfect way... to make a mediocre person. Someone who thinks the concepts familiar to him are right, and proceeds to hate everything he's not familiar with. The kind of "healthy" person perfectly suited... to start World War III, all the while thinking he's right.

"Because a free market is the perfect way to run the economy!"
"Because democracy is the perfect way to run every government!"
"Because consumption that aren't familiar to me are overconsumption!"
"Because it looks like the animals are in pain!"
"Because those children are suffering!"
"Because anyone smart should always be doing a startup, all the time!"
etc. etc.

When would there be a day, when educators would tell the children, to believe in themselves, and be brave? And instead of always trying to look for an answer, a feeling of safety from some authority - accept "we don't really know" as an acceptable answer?

Procrastination

Procrastination doesn't happen because the person is lazy - it happens because the person does not see an achievable and rewarding goal in the short term. So, the person goes off to find other rewarding things to do instead.

The stupid person throws up his hand at big problems and resigns to the illusion that he's a lazy bum. The smart person understands this, and plans things ahead such that he'd always have a few small things he can accomplish each day towards the overall goal.

The flip side of thinking ahead and executing things in a divide-and-conquer manner though.. is you'd finally realize your seemingly easy goals really do take a lot of efforts to accomplish. As days go on.. you'd accomplish things little-by-little, but you'd also realize the fact that.. they're little.

Thus comes the biggest realization of all...

Money is man-made and arbitrary, but time is very limited. You can't hijack a central bank or invent a new virtual currency and make it print more time for you.

I've probably already burnt through 1/4 or even 1/3 of my life by now - most of it spent in a trap called "education" that wasn't very productive. There's not much time left before I'd have grown old and my mind no longer being able to cut through new things like a hot knife through butter... This is not ideal.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Growth

When people point their fingers at political fights, they often focus on the abstract - what's right and what's wrong; what's good, what's evil; what is fair, what is unfair.

They almost always forget about one thing - that as living things, everybody is really looking for some kind of growth.

It could be wealth, it could be a sense of security; it could be knowledge, or maybe a thrill. Very often, it could be children.

This is why, when the mediocre talks about "save the planet"; the elite would talk about "change the world".

The latter message, is simply closer to what most people really want.

Care

There was a time when I recklessly walked to the front with a bunch of awardees (which I was one) in university.

I found I ended up sitting next to President Chu. I didn't know if I should sit down.

"If you don't sit, nobody would"

And I thought I was just going there for a lunch and then I'd go back to sleep.



There was a time when I wrote emails titled "strategic review" for my startup, because I couldn't think of a more concrete email title for the reasoning process. As cliche as that title is, everybody knows what it means.

And then I dropped the ball, because I thought I was called the CTO and I should make things.

And then the startup lost its direction.

For quite some time, I thought the problem was some other dude with the more appropriate responsibilities didn't take it, or keep doing it in a similarly open format.

But the actual thing that happened was..

If I didn't care, then nobody would care.

It could only start with me.

Monday, July 15, 2013

Business

Five years ago I was involved in a business. It failed. I do not want to go into the details of it anymore.

While I'm disallowed from doing any startups or open source projects, I've picked up investing.

When one is trading stock, or any commodity - no matter how you think you're benefiting the market and the world in general (like, making liquidity) - you're ultimately believing that the counter party to your trade is a loser.

That, however - doesn't make you evil. The world does need market makers, for example.

Many people would disagree - thinking their arbitrarily defined mental models of ethics are more important than reality. Extremely arrogant - when you rephrase it as someone thinking their arbitrarily defined mental models are more important than reality. But of course, arguing with them is useless. Disagree they will. Arrogance is also part of reality.

Same goes for business.

Businesses operations are far more than just trades. But because resources are always finite - winners and losers will emerge, whether you want it or not. When times are good, everyone is happy. When times are bad, every trick clean and dirty allowed by the laws of physics will appear. But that doesn't mean the trickster hadn't done good for the world at large. Invisible hand is larger than your ego, even your life.

So if bad things did happen, the correct attitude is to see it as losing money. Any other thought is simply inefficiency.

I wish I've realized that earlier.

Friday, July 5, 2013

Third time's the charm

So this is the third consumer software launch (that I've taken part of) for me, I guess I have a pretty good idea of what'd happen when something is launched by now. Let's hope the ship sails nicely this time.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Entrepreneurship

To the people who perceives the world as imperfect, it means "changing the world".

To the people who want to be someone else, it also means "changing the world".

To the people who like adventure, it means, "having fun with the world".

To the people who are pragmatic, it means, "learning to survive in the flattened world".

To the people who are fierce, it means, "drench my hands in other entrepreneurs' blood".

To the people who are truly stupid, it means, "getting rich".

Everyone playing the global startup game will tell you the first reason.

Most players recruiting a team member will tell them the sixth reason.

The paranoid knows, it's most often neither reason that's important.

Sunday, January 13, 2013

Hackers

When I was small, I didn't know C, or syscalls, or dynamic linking, or virtual memory management - yet I tried to read the stuff from Phrack anyway because I thought that was what the "cool guys" would read. I couldn't grasp how to smash the stack back then, but I understood this:


                               ==Phrack Inc.==

                    Volume One, Issue 7, Phile 3 of 10

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
The following was written shortly after my arrest...

                       \/\The Conscience of a Hacker/\/

                                      by

                               +++The Mentor+++

                          Written on January 8, 1986
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

        Another one got caught today, it's all over the papers.  "Teenager
Arrested in Computer Crime Scandal", "Hacker Arrested after Bank Tampering"...
        Damn kids.  They're all alike.

        But did you, in your three-piece psychology and 1950's technobrain,
ever take a look behind the eyes of the hacker?  Did you ever wonder what
made him tick, what forces shaped him, what may have molded him?
        I am a hacker, enter my world...
        Mine is a world that begins with school... I'm smarter than most of
the other kids, this crap they teach us bores me...
        Damn underachiever.  They're all alike.

        I'm in junior high or high school.  I've listened to teachers explain
for the fifteenth time how to reduce a fraction.  I understand it.  "No, Ms.
Smith, I didn't show my work.  I did it in my head..."
        Damn kid.  Probably copied it.  They're all alike.

        I made a discovery today.  I found a computer.  Wait a second, this is
cool.  It does what I want it to.  If it makes a mistake, it's because I
screwed it up.  Not because it doesn't like me...
                Or feels threatened by me...
                Or thinks I'm a smart ass...
                Or doesn't like teaching and shouldn't be here...
        Damn kid.  All he does is play games.  They're all alike.

        And then it happened... a door opened to a world... rushing through
the phone line like heroin through an addict's veins, an electronic pulse is
sent out, a refuge from the day-to-day incompetencies is sought... a board is
found.
        "This is it... this is where I belong..."
        I know everyone here... even if I've never met them, never talked to
them, may never hear from them again... I know you all...
        Damn kid.  Tying up the phone line again.  They're all alike...

        You bet your ass we're all alike... we've been spoon-fed baby food at
school when we hungered for steak... the bits of meat that you did let slip
through were pre-chewed and tasteless.  We've been dominated by sadists, or
ignored by the apathetic.  The few that had something to teach found us will-
ing pupils, but those few are like drops of water in the desert.

        This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the
beauty of the baud.  We make use of a service already existing without paying
for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and
you call us criminals.  We explore... and you call us criminals.  We seek
after knowledge... and you call us criminals.  We exist without skin color,
without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us criminals.
You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us
and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals.

        Yes, I am a criminal.  My crime is that of curiosity.  My crime is
that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like.
My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me
for.

        I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto.  You may stop this individual,
but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike.

                               +++The Mentor+++
_______________________________________________________________________________


In the old days, before I was born, a "cool dude" was one who sent a 2600Hz signal into a land line to get free international calls. In the 2010s, a "cool dude" is someone who sends his code to a lot of consumers to get free Lamborghinis. Every once in a while, one of these cool dudes remembers that it's not really about the free international phone calls, or Lamborghinis - although those are nice and cool tricks. They did more, and the world was afraid.

One of these dudes got caught again, and this time, he decided to take his life, instead of writing a manifesto. Too bad.

RIP, Aaron Swartz.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Stuff I wrote on the plane back to Hong Kong

(This post was written in 8/2011, and it was retracted. I'm reposting it today as I'm clearing my blog of spam comments, and because I think, as of today, it won't do anyone any harm anymore due to the time passed.)








As of this moment, I'm on a plane over the middle of Pacific Ocean - flying back to Hong Kong to start my new job at Apple Inc. For my US friends, don't worry, I'll be back and be around Cupertino in about a month. My stay in Hong Kong is just temporary.

Getting Over TixxMe

I've been trying to sleep, and there's actually a pretty comfy bed for me to sleep on the plane this time. But I couldn't get myself asleep despite the Bailey's I had right before boarding. To tell the truth, I'm still feeling angry over how things have turned out. The product is already 90% done - it's 50% if you only look at the user visible features. But the important thing is the infrastructure behind it - that took a lot of lead time but it's worth it. The infrastructure was built to let us make major changes and new features very quickly with an extremely small team (i.e. me and an intern) and perhaps some help from conventional web designers (i.e. no iOS/Android specialists needed) - and it was how I planned to beat massively more well-funded competitors with almost no resource. It proved itself in the weekly private beta releases within StartX in which we made numerous major changes in the software without many bugs and complaints - but most importantly, it meant no more overnight work for me, the sole full-time engineer in TixxMe. It meant I can hit the weekly milestones reliably without working myself to death. I'm a lazy programmer, and I'm proud of it.
And then the project stopped. To be honest I don't believe my co-founders' reasons for stopping it. It all seemed like a deliberate plan to kick out the co-founder who disagreed too much on how TixxMe should be run. Ironically, I'm also the guy who wrote the initial draft for the farewell article at tixxme.com, but the article got softened up quite a lot before it was posted. The outcome is not bad per se, but it's not my style of writing.
So.. 2 years. I've learned quite a lot, yes. But there're only so many 2 years for a twenty-something who doesn't have to worry about family (and I already have my mom to worry about, she will actually die of illness if I don't send her money), so it's also a massive loss for me. Also, having released 2 products and yet didn't get seed funding and didn't get PR in the frothy early stage investment market of 2010 is a small black mark on the personal histories of everyone involved - the problem is not the failure, but not having the balls of coming out to see the press.

What Went Wrong?

Over the life of Think Bulbs and TixxMe, we made products that went to the top of the charts in App Store - that was in 2009 though. We laughed whenever we saw another iPhone app that got 100k users and went to TechCrunch - one because we've reached that number twice, both times within a week or two from release. Two, because we never got to TechCrunch despite what we've done. So the laugh is really on us. Yes, I know, PR is only a small part of a whole product strategy. And simply the number of users isn't that good a metric for anything. But for all of two years almost all of our PR were done in Hong Kong and they're almost all done by me - the tech guy. Using "pathetic" to describe that would be an insult to the word "pathetic".
And after 2010 we went almost totally silent. There was SayCheeze which was a prototype for something bigger. We pitched the "bigger" thing in SSE Labs demo day that summer and the coding was already well in progress. If it all went well, we would have been the top dog in mobile photography for quite a while longer - probably even now.
But when the business guy came back from investor meetings, he was scared. He heard of big names going into the same space we're going into, and "pivoted". By "pivot" I mean all the code I've written in 2009 and 2010 was scrapped. That was needed because Think Bulbs' assets were sold and we had to start anew with TixxMe. And for a good few months, all I was doing was to get TixxMe's progress back to where I was at September 2010.

Cowardice - the Greatest Sin of any Startup


What it used to be.. when we were brave and not afraid. We (Puri! Lite) were #1, in 10+ countries.
Yes, the icon can be better. So? So you don't wanna release it?
.. and that was one of the bigger mistakes we made. That was not an isolated event, though. It's the general pattern of the business side of TixxMe until perhaps the last month of its life. Business guy talks to lots of people, gets scared, calls a meeting, and we decided to change something. And to be fair, it wasn't just the business guy's fault - it was equally my fault. I as a cofounder was also scared by what the business guy said and didn't stand firm in company meetings, I allowed my own code to be wasted. It was also why I went the path of mobile HTML5 - if the product requirements are constantly changing, so why not make the code base able to adapt to fast changes in the first place.
But as we went to the last month of TixxMe (and we weren't aware of the sudden stop that would happen back then - at least I wasn't), we finally learned the only real problem for us - cowardice. It slows ourselves down. It shows up in investor meetings whenever hard questions are asked - or worse, I guess, some "friendly" investors wouldn't even ask hard questions because they already know we're soft. It also shows in the quality of software - going soft on "we need quick progress for some demo event/investor meeting soon!" means buggy software; going soft on "shit! some famous guy is already in this space! let's throw away what we have and start again" means I can't even debug the software I've released even if I wanted.
Some of our advisors with the company spotted it - "not believing in yourselves". That was the single biggest mistake we've ever made. A lot of times I want to blame the business guy over this pervasive attitude within the company but I'm also to blame. Reason one, I have just as much shares as the business cofounder. Reason two, I always agreed with him eventually.

Lesson Learned

If you're a cofounder of a startup and you're hearing your advisors or investors tell you "you guys don't believe in yourselves"… you're in serious trouble. It doesn't matter if you have some funding, it doesn't matter if you already have a product. If it's just you who's constantly in doubt of the direction your company is taking, great, learn to be a real gangster and release your fucking product and talk with users instead of investors, today. If it's more than just you, run the fuck away.
And to the "let's keep ourselves in stealth mode/don't release our product yet because we may fail to get traction" crowd - good luck committing slow motion suicide. The team who failed a few times, pitched like shit in funding events, and became the laughing stock of VCs for the month will beat you. Perhaps not in this year, but beat you they will.
There're a lot more totally ridiculous things our team have done in the past 2 years. But in my mind, nothing is as wrong as cowardice. If I'm allowed to go back in time to fix just one thing in Think Bulbs and TixxMe, it's "Team! We're gangsters! Cofounder and CTO is for business cards! This is OG Martin to you! Competitors are there to be beaten up! If they're famous, even better!" As long as the team is not afraid to lose, and the consequences of losing battles here and there are fully accounted for - everything else that's right will follow.

So What's Next?

I'm broke - as anyone in StartX who observed my clothes can tell. So I don't have a choice in running my own startup any more - my bank account and my mom's health simply can't take any more risks. The project I'm on right now is probably the next most awesome thing I can do - and I plan to stay at least a few years on it. But perhaps now is a good time for me to get to know more people around the valley, instead of always sitting in the office coding shit up.
There're teams in StartX whose response to their competitor getting funded is "Yeah? Come get a piece of me! Come on!" - I admire them. That's the spirit! If you don't fight and don't experience both losing and winning in the arena yourself, why do a startup at all? Life is short and it's important to live it in the most fulfilling way possible. I've been having dinners with another startup in 500Startups in the past month, at one point they asked me how early they should release their still very in-progress product. My comment? "Release it as soon as it's usable!" Just seeing how users praise and curse you is totally worth it. Fuck the VCs who ask hard questions.

On Co-Founders and Other Startups

Next time I find a co-founder, I'd find someone who appreciates the fight (and the software!) itself - the movements of the market, the ways people's lives can be changed, what users claim they like and what they actually use, the words and emotions coming from investors and spectators in TechCrunch… The whole experience is a beauty by itself.
If your cofounder tells you he's doing a startup because he wants to retire early; or when asked about how he's going to make the world better, he talks about charity (which means he doesn't have a better idea than what every Average Joe can come up with) - you'd better run - he's not motivated to put capital to good use to begin with. Even if such a team succeeds, nobody is truly enjoying the process - because in your hearts you'll know, you're just in this startup game because it's "cool", not because you're really doing anything new. There're many excellent uses for a million or even a billion dollars, retiring early is not one. In fact, somebody better invent a way to live forever so the real innovators can keep pushing the world forward, without having to worry about their animal needs.
And for the few startup friends who'd asked me to join them... I'm truly sorry. I'd really like to fight. I'd really love to bring another thing from our imagination into the real world and see how the real world reacts to it. I'm flat broke now, though, and I have my mom to worry about.
But if it's about bringing stuff from imagination to reality... I'm still doing it. I didn't choose my job because of the brand name. Anyway, I'm not done. If you're a true gangster, see you in the arena, some time.